Battle of the Bulge: Chapter 1

The longest battle ever fought?

Hundred and sixteen years of war, from 1337 to 1453, between England and France! FALSE.

Battle of the Bulge! Or shall I say, the epic war we women fight with our weighing scales is the longest war ever fought and still going on. No clear winner has emerged on either side.

Hello Peeps,

I am a woman in thirties (sorry the numbers just blur after you hit 30.) So anyhow, I am trying to lose weight, not for the first time . . . I have been a foot soldier of the epic battle since the last two decades. The pounds were defeated and sent to exile when I was in my twenties. But suddenly and terrifyingly, several years ago, they staged a coup.

The coup wasn’t overnight but a success because for the last eight years or so it wasn’t all about me anymore. They were additions to my life; a ring on my finger, a kid to raise and of course a darn house to run and if the plate wasn’t loaded enough, I decided to kick start a new career, become a writer.

98% of the time, I sincerely thank god for the things, I just griped about in the para above. But when I stand, one foot and one toe on the weighing scale, I know what’s coming between me and my Heidi Klum like body (minus her hair, her height, her smile and her millions, I know I have a Heidi hiding inside me. We all do! You know it. Only the names vary, Heidi, Aishwarya, Gisele, etc!)

Anyhow getting back to the battle of the bulge! Like I mentioned, having different priorities made the coup successful and the fat found spots on my body that I had stopped using, (the unfortunate and laden parts are listed below)

My Obliques for one (obviously lifting things off and picking things up, from the floor, only works the nerves not the waist)

Upper and lower abdomen. Damn, I didn’t even know there were two sets of abs till I saw the my one stomach bifurcate into two RV tires.

Big butt! Self explanatory, so moving on.

Jelly thighs packaged with a few layers of good old fat.

But a teeny tiny detail, in us women, the bulge overlooks, is something we are globally ridiculed for- we are the NAGS. Women can moan, groan, gripe, croak and whine until we are heard or obeyed (men obviously have a hearing problem and they call us names). In other words, and going by our spirit, I would say that, hold your breath, being a nag is not bad. It inversely points to the fact that women persevere , are tenacious, and do not give up. How’s that? Like the thought, then hold on to it!

Therefore nagged by my perseverance, I’ve decided to lose the fat and get my Heidi Klum body back. This time I want to send the bulge back from where it came, unlike the terminator who keeps coming back in sequels.

So a few decisions were arrived upon between my brain and me and of course, the wallet was never ignored.

Goal: To go from size 12 to a size 6 (only if I am still alive in the year 3000). I think, size 8 is probably more realistic, and would look healthy on 5 foot 6 inch frame. I am taking the path of inch loss rather than weight loss- the end is the same only the road travelled different. Moreover, I do not want to obsess or get freaked out by the weighing scale which starts resembling Jason from Friday the 13th, whenever I try to drop the pounds.

Time to achieve my goal: This no death race therefore I shall give myself 6 months. If it happens before I promise not to binge.

Obstacles: My inherent laziness, hectic schedule (even though I am a stay at home, it means I’m a work at home) and the loss of will power.

Motivation: A) Heidi Klum body. B) Gain confidence and that feeling of being invincible which pathetically sometimes tends to be as good as my reflection in the mirror. And the ultimate motivator, beat the crap out of the bulge-take it out rather than let it take me in.

Firstly, some basics necessities were taken care of. I have a found a gym, four miles away from where I live, which is a suburbia in Orange County which in part is a suburbia of Los Angeles.(As I’m not promoting anything, except weight loss and self esteem, both of which do not require sponsorship, I shall skip names of places.)

This gym was not only well equipped but also has a fantastic and well-supervised kid center. Now I have a reliable, dependable and adorable gym buddy, my three year old. She’ll never cancel on me because of a sudden date or deadline.

Next, without breaking a budget, bought some workout clothes, not too tight (no love handles need to be overtly displayed) and not too loose (size 12 should not resemble size 18).

And lastly and very importantly decided on a diet: Low fat, low carb and high protein (there is so much information out there on the web that in few days and few hours of research I had the knowledge I needed). Also, have decided to guzzle at least 4 liters of H2O as water increases metabolism (mine is at the point of extinction) and keeps you feeling stuffed enough not to chow down calorie infested soul food.

All you wonderful people, who have taken the time out of their crazy schedules to read this, must be wondering why the heck is she blogging about her decision to lose weight. The answer is simple, the easiest promise to break is the one made to no one.

I am hesitantly, reluctantly, and cruelly, exposing my Achilles heel and personal demon, as a motivation to myself and anyone else who wants to tread on the same route. I know the journey shall be long, sweaty and overwhelming. One thing I shall make very clear, I’m not taking any foolish or rash steps, I’ll eat healthy and portion-controlled but definitely eat.

At least, once or twice a week, I will update my struggles, successes and whatever drama that comes in between. From all you, readers, I need reactions. Please, pretty please, do post your thoughts and comments on the Blog page. Also, forward this link to any one you know, who might have staged a similar battle, or is planning to go on one, or just likes reading and trusts your judgment. Thank you and till next time.

Abientot and Jai Ho! :)